October 29, 2023
Brooklyn, NY
From The Desk Of The Kaiju Commissioner
Dear Kaiju family, friends, and foes:
Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back you know how the song goes. Did you miss us? It’s been a while since we last saw your smiling faces. Much has happened in the last few months but Dusto Bunny still retains the Kaiju Championship and the rest of the locker room are still cleaning sand out of their shoes.
Of course, some things never change and Dr Cube is no exception. The evil mastermind has plenty of evil tricks up his blood-stained sleeves and has threatened that there will be a funeral tonight. But when the going gets tough the tough get going, and rest assured, your Kaiju Heroes will do all they can to save the birthday celebrations from Cube’s dastardly plans. But they can’t do it without your help, so be sure to cheer for them as loud as you can, and as often as you can.
But remember, while we’ll do our best to protect you, stay on your toes! Because in Kaiju Big Battel, and the world, Danger can, and will happen!
Your Friend
The Kaiju Commissioner
FIGHTO 1 – Unicorn Party VS Tucor
Its not a party without Unicorn Party.
The Party Pugilist goes one on one with the cereal killer known as Tucor!!! What’s shaping up to be a knock down brawl as both Kaiju are looking to get the first wrapped box of the night.
FIGHTO 2 – Silver Potato and Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle VS Double Unicorn Dark and Yarsminko
It’s Silver Potato’s Birthday and all he really wants is to face some worthy opponents with his pal Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle by his side. The Kaiju Commissioner has spared no expense to fly in Yarsminko from planet Jawdoh 7 and Kaijus Southern Divisions most evil villain Double Unicorn Dark.
FIGHTO 3 – Cycloptopuss VS Tikirilla
You wouldn’t think something so innocuous as a beach towel could cause so much trouble but here we are. Cycloptopuss claims Tikirilla took home his favorite towel after the Halloween Beach Party, Tikirilla refutes the accusations and claims he purchased the towel at a Bed and Bath closeout sale. The Kaiju court of arbitration has decided they must settle this in the ring other wise said towel will be seized and donated to the local Salvation Army.
Intermission followed by
Referee Dundee’s HAPPY FUNTIME SING ALONG FEST OF GREAT RESPECT
FIGHTO 4 – Hell Monkey VS Japandroid
Japandroid, the former Yakuza war droid reprogrammed for do-gooding has recently returned after a 20 year hiatus caused by the elusive “A” battery not being available. Now he’s back and he has a list, first up the notorious one eyed demon from the dark side, Hell Monkey
FIGHTO 5 – Main Event Kaiju Championship Match: Dusto Bunny VS Dr. Cube
Dusto VS Cube what more can we say? Except the bad doctor surely has some shenanigans up his sanctimonious sleeves. Will the wisest Kaiju in the building be able to see thru Dr. Cubes tricks? Only time will tell!
Results
-Tucor def Unicorn Party (with Pink Bear) due to run-in from Hunninaught.
Hunninaught steals a fan’s birthday present
-Odd Couple (Double Unicorn Dark and Yarsminko) def Dodega Boiz (Silver Potato and Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle Soup)
-Tikirilla vs D.W. Cycloptopuss III declared No Contest due to interference from Hunninaught.
Cycloptopuss steals birthday present from Hunninaught
-Pink Bear def D.W. Cycloptopuss III
Dr. Cube steals birthday gift from Cycloptopuss
-Japandroid def Hell Monkey with run-ins from Burger Bear and Dr. Cube’s minions
Referee Dundee is burned by Hell Monkey hot sauce and a guest referee (who is totally not working for Dr. Cube) comes out
–Kaiju Grand Championship – Dr. Cube def Dusto Bunny (c) due to interference by Dr. Cube’s Posse. (Cube bribes the guest referee) (New Champion)
–Kaiju Grand Championship – Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder def Dr. Cube (c) (New Champion)
Hell Monkey is killed in the fighto (He dies all the time. They will just summon him from hell again)
Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder takes the Birthday Present from Dr. Cube and returns it to the fan.
Kaiju Big Battel 