Polo Cato

Polo Cato is lovable American-style giant class smell creature. Once in past time, Polo Cato almost road killed over by semi while crossing highway, so ran into Hokkaido Nuclear Reactor which caused biggest size change. All this could not be so! But having the fifty hundred foot tail with matching arm any ways. He can be identify with black and white hair and horrible odor.

Polo Cato, an American-Style Giant Class Kaiju

According to a press release issued by Dr. Cube’s Lab, Polo Cato is a common dump skunk (mephitis mephitis) with really bad luck (mephitis life suckis). As the CL one-sheet reads, Polo Cato’s bad karma kicked in when the striped dump-diver was scurrying across a rush-hour highway and a tractor-trailer zipped over its backside. Stunned and smelly, the quasi-roadkill rolled out of the passing lane, dragged itself into the nearby field, and headed out in searched of shelter. Within an hour, the maimed skunk discovered the Hokkaido Nuclear Reactor, which, by chance, was in the throes of a catastrophic meltdown. Radiation dust festered in Polo Cato’s pores, turning his open wounds into weeping pustules, quadrupling the length of his broken tail, and causing him to mutate into the 450-meter stink bomb we smell today.

Fox News 55 thought this story sounded a little too serendipitously coincidental to be true, so the station unleashed a team of crack correspondents to investigate. Turns out that Polo Cato was actually Cube’s creation, composed through a series of illegal and unethical experiments involving depleted uranium, raw sewerage, sulfur-based gases, and rabid skunks. Dr. Cube’s evil vision was to create a monster three-stories tall with an odor so foul it could be used as a chemical weapon. Fortunately, Cube didn’t succeed. But he did end up with Polo Cato, a big, stupid-looking stink bomb.

How to De-Skunk a Polo Cato

Dr. Cube created Polo Cato to be the ultimate stink machine. Fortunately for the Kaiju Big Battel heroes, methods exist to counter the heinous odor. The following document entitled: The Path of Seven Ways to Stifle Stench, was authored by an anonymous skunk expert. Still, messy handwriting on the original manuscript indicates Dusto Bunny was the author, but DNA tests on microscopic lint particles taken from the document are inconclusive. The more-than-hare-brained rabbit refuses to comment on the report except to say “The author of this document was either very wise or insane. Can a monster without stink truly be called a skunk?”

The Path of Seven Ways to Stifle Stench:

First, know that you cannot avoid stench: The nature of Polo Cato is to stink.

Second, preserve the clear sight of correct thought and correct meditation. If the stink has gotten in your eyes, rinse them thoroughly with the cold, distilled water of understanding.

Third, wash yourself of all false thought and false action. This is best done out-of-doors, if weather permits.

Fourth, pour on tomato juice of perception. The deep contemplation of the heart of this fruit will banish the stink from you.

Fifth, if the tomato juice of perception cannot conquer the foul odor, the vanilla bean of deep meditation may mend your stinking form.

Sixth, if the stink is so deeply etched in your flesh that aforementioned light and pureness cannot completely remove it, deep contemplation of baking soda, liquid soap and hydrogen peroxide cannot fail. Pour the mixture over yourself, patiently waiting for its healing powers to soak in. Then wait in quiet meditation for at least 15 minutes to receive enlightenment and relief from suffering.

Seventh, to be truly rid of stench, the source of the stink must be eradicated. The glands of ignorance are located under a tail of shame. With great courage and the anesthesia of sodium penthanol, approach the source of the stench and sever the glands with the scalpel of righteousness.

If you practice these seven ways, then you will be truly free from stench.