What’s Opera, Dr. Cube? (Kaiju 152)

Note: The following fighto is non-canon and is narrated by Hunninaught, who is searching for beloved Jeremiah the Pink Bear

I pen this tale as a gift to my betrothed, my beloved, my Jeremiah Pink Bear. Tis a tale of love lost and found. A tale of beauty, and of woe, for those two are oft one and the same. They say tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, but when love goes missing…well that is a different story altogether. When Jeremiah and I arrived at the distinguished Byham Theatre, it was a night like any other: The shining lights, A rambunctious crowd, and a fighto of EPIC proportions…

American Beetle def Tucor

…I became curious after the referee’s count concluded, for Jeremiah had not returned. He had told me he was off to the merchandise stand, to browse their wares and amazing can’t miss deals that anyone in the audience would’ve been made a mockery of if they had missed out. Frightened and concerned, I had gone to my esteemed colleague Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder, to see if he had caught wind of Jeremiah’s whereabouts. He had not, but knew of another who could not resist the siren song of a stylish, fairly priced, printed tee. Surely Darwin Winston Cycloptupuss the third witnessed something, although they were not always the most forthcoming with information. Boulder promised me he could change that…

Steam-Powered Tentacle Boulder def D.W. Cycloptopuss III

…Shenanigans are afoot. After a right good kicking, it appears an unmarked car was spotted making great haste from our location. Surely Jeremiah had been apprehended, and forcefully placed into the boot of that mysterious automobile. While my heart sank at the trials and tribulations my poor Jermiah was going through, that sadness transformed to anger, as only one foul villain was truly depraved enough to stoop so low. The dreaded, diabolical Dr Cube. And surely, he was not alone in his efforts, for where Cube goes, the posse is sure to follow. Emotions aside, I know better than to walk into the dragon’s den alone, so I called upon two friends, accustomed to taking on a tandem of terrible titans…

Dr. Cube and Evil Derano def Los Plantanos (Pedro and Paco Plantain)

Dr. Cube denies having anything to do with Jeremiah’s disappearance and accuses Hell Monkey of the crime.

…Cube’s words echoed throughout my head. Maybe Hell Monkey’s departure from Cubes Employ has led him down a path of even greater evil. It was a lead, and with Cube’s trail leading us to an impasse, I needed time to think, I needed time to reflect, I needed….INTERMISSION.

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The time has been thrusted upon us. Now that I’ve obtained knowledge as to the villain whom has captured the key to my heart, my “Raison d’être”, it is time we reunite once more. Of course, only a fool goes into battel unprepared, and even with the resources at my disposal, I find myself at a disadvantage against Hell Monkey and his “Satanic Six”. I have tasked the delectable Burger Bear to dispatch the simian’s lieutenant Azumyth and retrieve his Cellular Phone in order to draw out the baboon onto an even-footing. The fate of my Jeremiah rests upon Burger Bear’s beefy paws…

Burger Bear def Azumyth

Burger Bear uses Azumyth’s cell phone to text Hell Monkey in order to lure him out.

This is it. Only one thing stands in the way of my beloved soulmate. Hell Monkey is on his way. The final fighto of evil vs Good, treachery and villainy vs honor….and LOVE. And on this day LOVE will reign supreme. No doubt Hell Monkey has another trick up his sleeve. The evilly ursine Mei Mei is never too far behind, and I’ve run out of options. My compatriots have gotten me this far, it is now time that I rise and accept the challenge: Face the beasts head on. They may be stronger than I, quicker than I, have more available merchandise than I, but what I lack in brawn and available keshi figurines, I more than make up for in spirit. I will face hate the way I have faced love…head on, all in and ready for anything. I do this for everyone that has helped me…Beetle, Boulder, The Plaintains, Burger Bear, and most importantly for my love Jeremiah, for a life without you is not a life worth living. I will prevail for I am justice, I am KAIJU, I AM HUNNINAUGHT

Hunninaught & Pink Bear def The Satanic Six (Mei Mei and Hell Monkey)

Hunninaught is outnumbered, but Jeremiah appears in order to even the odds. They defeat the Hell Monkey and Mei Mei and embrace.

Love conquers all.

Monster are real.

Danger can happen!